| |
| |
| KeralaClick.com | Weight Loss Information | |
| Anorexia - a Game of Control!
Low self-esteem produces a game of control. It causes a person to suffer in silence - suffering that can lead to anorexia. Do you struggle with painful feelings about yourself, as a person? We can have so much in our western world, but lack the one thing we most desire - acceptance and a feeling of self worth! Tania was a beautiful teenage girl. She was given compliments, but felt unable to accept them. Her distorted image of her body led her to become anorexic. This article is not primarily about the signs and symptoms of anorexia. It's purpose is to help the reader discover what lies behind the eating disorder called anorexia nervosa. First of all, we need to understand how low self-esteem and anorexia are related. The Link Between Low Self-esteem and Anorexia A sense of low self-esteem can be caused through inadequate nurturing as a result of emotional, physical or sexual abuse as a child. Abuse is when a person uses their power or position to force another person to perform in order to meet their needs. Emotional abuse is the subtlest form of abuse. Most of us at some time or other, whether to a greater or lesser degree, have been victims of emotional abuse. It could come from anyone who has a position of authority who requires you to perform in order to have his or her needs met. Tania was a victim of emotional abuse. Her self-rejection grew as her parents were not able to meet her emotional needs even though she lacked nothing materially. Emotional abuse usually begins as a generational problem. Tania's parents did not know how to meet her needs as they themselves had unmet needs. They were what we call an 'adult child', searching for someone to nurture them and fulfil their needs. Tania sensed these needs and subconsciously sought to fulfil them by 'being there' for her parents. As opposed to the adults 'being there' to meet her emotional needs! Tania listened as her parents shared their challenges but neither of them were able to spend quality time with her to allow her to open up and share her concerns. Tania had a false sense of security because she felt needed, but lacked someone to care for her own needs. This left her feeling abandoned and abused because she was not being affirmed. As Tania did not have her own emotional needs met she was left with feelings of low self-worth, emptiness, loneliness, self-hate and depression. To compensate for her feelings of low self-worth she grew up putting more emphasis on `doing' rather than being'. This set the scene for Tania to become anorexic! Can you relate to Tania in some way? Do you feel empty inside wishing someone would meet your inner needs? Keep reading and you will discover how you can become all you can be. Low Self-Esteem Is the Root of All Addictions- including Anorexia Nervosa It has been said that addictions are an attempt to hide the real 'me' from the outside world. Addictions can come in many forms to help you feel better, change your mood and avoid painful feelings. In an attempt to avoid pain one can subtly be led into deception, lies and denial. Anorexia Nervosa was Tania's way of changing her perception of herself - her intense, irrational fear of being fat kept her in a cycle of deception and control. Let's look at how this cycle works. Low Self-Esteem produces a Game of Control Those with low self-worth often convey a sense of control. To avoid others seeing the real person, and in fear of falling victim again, they may either control others by being assertive, or control themselves by being non-assertive. Tania's mother's commented to me that from her perspective she felt Tania used her eating disorder to control and manipulate her. It was like Tania was, consciously or subconsciously, trying to control both herself and her mother. The non-assertive approach of control The person with a non-assertive approach sees self-worth as being based on what people think about himself/herself: it is important at any cost to gain the approval of others. Sufferers of anorexia go to extreme lengths to achieve their goal of acceptance. It is important to note that in endeavouring to deal with low self-worth, a person can swing from being non-assertive to assertive, or visa versa. One can start out as an assertive achiever, as we will discuss in the next section, and swing to become a non-assertive, non-achiever or "loser". The non-assertive approach produces a cycle, which begins with denial and a desire to please because of fear of rejection. These people become resentful and angry with themselves and others when their goal is not achieved, which leads to depression and increased feelings of rejection of self or others. Then in order to feel better about themselves, they begin the cycle of control again. The assertive approach of control The person with an assertive approach strives to feel good about himself/herself by meeting certain standards. Feelings of never doing well enough or being good enough can create a fear of failure, which results in both a drive for perfectionism and control of self and others. Life becomes a problem to be solved for anorexia nervosa sufferers. They are constantly caught up in 'doing' rather than 'being' content, restful and enjoying life. If you have feelings of never doing well enough or being good enough you will know what I mean! The perfectionist has inflexible rules on how people should act or think. Deep down, it is felt that self-value is only obtained through achievement; therefore new challenges or other people's opinions are threatening, as the perfectionist feels that mistakes are to be avoided at any cost to prevent shame. The assertive approach also produces a cycle, which begins with denial and a desire to control self and others through fear of failure. To achieve this goal the assertive person is legalistic and critical of self and others. These people become defensive and angry when their goal is not achieved, which leads to feelings of loneliness and depression. To feel better about themselves they begin the cycle of control again to achieve their goal. Life becomes a game of control! How do we get out of this cycle we get ourselves into through low self-worth? For all who struggle with low self-esteem, I invite you to see a cartoon presentation on our website (www.ydyc.org) that will give you hope and freedom from the cycle of deception and control. It will help you make a fresh start and become all you can be. As a trained nurse I strongly recommend that you seek professional help if you are suffering from anorexia nervosa. Wilma Watson is a trained nurse and producer of the website http://www.ydyc.org. She has a passion to help people reach their maximimum potential.
MORE RESOURCES:
Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Weight Loss & Health Tips Revealed: Can I Be Fit And Fat? We all have an image of "fit" - lean, even thin, with a healthy glow. Many researchers are now beginning to question that picture of fitness - there may be more to being "fit" and less to being "fat" than conventional wisdom suggests. Lose Fat by Choosing The Best Weight Loss Plan For You Are you sick of the hype? Wondering what diet products really work? The fact is, most of them do. It's simply a matter of finding what works for you. Winter Weight Loss As our bodies move from Winter into Spring we can begin to really feel the need to "shed the winter weight". Whether we actually have weight to lose or not, this is an excellent time of year to give attention to our body's need to feel lighter. Lasting Weight Loss: No Discipline Required "I'd love to lose weight, but I don't have the discipline."If I had to lose weight the way the diet mongers say we need to, I'd never lose an ounce. Stop Trusting the Scale--Its Probably Wrong Anyway Have you ever stepped on the scale after a week of "being really good" only to be rewarded with an eye popping four pound gain? Don't despair! Your scale isn't trying to ruin your efforts and it doesn't hate you. True health is measured in many ways, only one of which is your outward appearance, and what you weigh is the least reliable measure of all. Questioning Cardio for Weight Loss? Q: I've heard you mention that you don't need tons of cardio to burn stubborn abdominal fat. Okay, I can live with that, but you've also said that it isn't absolutely necessary to perform direct ab work either. Hoodia- Modern Zeal of Ancient San The long marginalized San tribe of South Africa has suddenly come to the time light. An ancient practice of chewing a plant to ward of hunger has given birth to the modern charisma called P57. The Mental Game Of Weight Loss Many of us have tried losing weight in the past only to have it all find it's way back to us and then we notice it brought a few friends along.Then there's nothing left to do but feel frustrated, and suffer with our weight problem for another several months or years until we get sick and tired again of bering sick and tired and try once again to lose that unsightly weight. Ultimate Weight loss: Ephedra is it Good or Bad? I have had some e-mails come in and everyone is asking "is ephedra is safe or not?".Well I wont reply to that question. Can't Lose Weight? It May Not Be Your Fault! Are you frustrated with your weight problem and don't know what to do about it? Do you find that you lose weight at first, only to gain it all back later, and maybe more when you stop dieting, or when you find yourself bingeing? Are you fed up with weight loss programs that don't work?There is a good reason for that. You don't lack willpower. Are You Overweight Because Youre Not Sleeping Enough? If you're like me, you probably wish that there was a way for you to lose weight without having to put in much effort, right?Everyone knows the importance of exercise and how it helps us with weight loss, but on some days don't we all wish we can just sleep in bed and lose weight at the same time?Well, I've got some great news for you.. Want Power Before Will Power The problem isn't that you don't have enough will power to achieve what you want. You have will power, but it's not will power you need, it's want power. Before & After: A New Look at New Years Resolutions Have you seen the ditty below that's roaming the Internet these days? Before you read it and fall for its 'humor,' consider this. Each year, thousands, even millions, of people engage in an after-the-holidays ritual of self-denigration and punishment - to make up for the pleasurable indulgence of a very special time of year. 10 Easy to follow Tips to help YOU Lose Weight Dieting is not easy. If it were, we would probably all be thin. Weighing in on Weight Loss Dieters have long searched for secret paths to easy weight loss. Soon enough, anyone trying to lose weight will discover a mind-boggling variety of weight loss plans, even some that appear to contradict others. Hydrate to Lose Weight: Drinking Water & Its Relationship to Weight Loss It all begins with water .. The Most Effective Fat Burning And Muscle Building Workout That Takes Just 13 Minutes Most people who want to burn off some excess pounds and tighten and tone their bodies simply don't have 2 hours each day to spend in the gym performing the bodybuilding style workouts that most "fitness experts" recommend.Plus, these workouts consist of exercises and techniques that do not exercise the body in the way it is normally used so they end up building a somewhat unusable strength. Obesity Acceptance and Fat Acceptance: Different Labels; Same Dangerous Message Obesity acceptance, also known as fat acceptance, has a simple, appealing message.. Simple Plans for Social Eating and Travel It's one thing to stick with your diet regimen when you're at home, in control of the contents of your refrigerator and your portion sizes. But what about going out to dinner with friends? Worse, how do you stay on track when your dream vacation has you seated by the dessert cart at every meal?Eating right when you're out of your comfort zone can actually be easier than when you are at home, so long as you think smart and plan ahead. Saint Valentine Never Had it So Good There are several theories on the origins of Valentine's Day. Some believe it originated on February 14, 269 A.
|
| © KeralaClick.com 2006 |
