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Gastro-Physics And Dietary Anti-Matter
Do a little people-watching, next time you're in the grocery line. There's always someone with a cart, bulging with every conceivable kind of diet food. Flats of turkey bacon prop listlessly against the fat free half & half and Olestra cookies. At first glance, this is clearly someone who is completely health conscious, diet minded, and watching what they eat. But peek beneath the basket to the lower rack - where you normally find dog food, kitty litter, and toxic chemicals - and you will see the full case of Mountain Dew. Diet foods and junk foods, rubbing wrappers in the very same cart might suggest mental illness, delusional optimism, or some other form of brain strain. However, unbeknownst to the rest of us, these folks are actually brilliant physicists, cleverly disguised as profoundly confused shoppers, so as not to attract any attention. They throw you off their trail with very characteristic behaviors, like chasing a candy bar with a Diet Coke. Yes, we can now release the fact that these scientists are members of the little know branch of their field known as gastro-physics, and they are actually testing a high-level theory regarding matter and anti-matter. Just as matter can be annihilated by anti-matter, they show how calories can be eliminated, obliterated, and just forgotten about altogether if you just consume them with their Universal opposite. Oreos and skim milk cancel perfectly. M&Ms are vaporized into the next astral plane when thrown into a trail mix bag with a few Spanish peanuts. And then there's diet drinks ? the perfect dietary anti-matter for any form of plasticized fruit rollup, gummy worms, or even weight loss candy bars. Sorry for the dive into the messy scientific details, but there's just a bit more you should know about this physics phenomenon. The calorie cancellation must happen within a certain time frame, if you are serious about blipping away that ingot of taffy you just ate. It's like your mother explained, logically, that swimming after quick a baloney and cheese sandwich at the beach will make you drop like a rock to the bottom of the ocean, unless you wait the required 30 minutes or so. In just the same way, modern gastro-physicists indicate that full cancellation can only take effect if the diet product smashes into the junk food within 7.45 minutes. These guys are brilliant. So the next time you see cleverly disguised gastro-physicists chasing their Snickers with a Diet Coke, don't harrumph. They're not as daft as they seem. About The Author Dr. Will Clower is the award-winning author of The Fat Fallacy and founder of The PATH Curriculum, The PATH Online, and Newsletter. The PATH: America's weight solution. Dr. Clower can be reached on his website www.fatfallacy.com. [email protected]
MORE RESOURCES: Influencers Love Ozempic—but They Aren't Telling You About the Risks The Wall Street Journal The unexpected health benefits of Ozempic and Mounjaro National Geographic Delta Burke on 'ugly' 'Designing Women' exit, meth use for weight loss Entertainment Weekly News Why weight-loss drugs will reshape the world The Economist Eli Lilly’s weight loss drug Zepbound shows promise as a sleep apnea treatment in late-stage trials CNBC Sleep Apnea Reduced in People Who Took Weight-Loss Drug, Eli Lilly Reports The New York Times Tirzepatide reduced sleep apnea severity by up to nearly two-thirds in adults with obstructive sleep apnea (OSA) and ... Investors | Eli Lilly and Company Time-Restricted Eating Tied to Modest Weight Loss Medpage Today Eli Lilly Stock Gains After Study Shows Weight-Loss Drug Combats Sleep Apnea The Wall Street Journal Weight-loss Drug Zepbound Eases Sleep Apnea in Company Trials U.S. News & World Report Weight-loss drug startup Metsera wants to take on Novo and Lilly. Here's what you need to know Fast Company Pharmacists and doctors share alternatives to popular diabetes and weight loss drug amid shortage KCTV 5 Pharmacists and doctors share alternatives to popular diabetes and weight loss drug amid shortage KCTV 5 How 'miracle' weight-loss drugs made health disparities worse Los Angeles Times Ozempic Before and After Pictures: Wegovy, Other Results Parade Magazine Patches the cat reaches 1 year mark of weight-loss journey WRIC ABC 8News All About '1000-Lb. Sisters' Star Tammy Slaton's Weight Loss Women's Health What We're Reading: Health Care Antitrust Portal; CAR T Label Updates; Weight-Loss Shots and Fertility AJMC.com Managed Markets Network Aussie mother's Ozempic nightmare during weight loss ordeal: 'I was so scared' Yahoo News Australia Georgia man wins $25K in Clean Eatz weight loss challenge 11Alive.com WXIA The new weight-loss drugs and cancer Fred Hutchinson Cancer Center Alex Rodriguez Praises Girlfriend Jaclyn Cordeiro for Helping Him Improve His Health - Men's Journal Patients Find Weight Loss Drug Zepbound A Game Changer, But Makers See Production Delay Until 2025 Yahoo Finance The 10 Healthiest Dairy Foods for Weight Loss Eat This, Not That Study finds calories may be more important than meal timing when it comes to weight loss Medical Xpress Drugs Like Ozempic And Mounjaro Could Treat Other Conditions—Here's What Scientists Are Looking At Forbes A woman lost 140 pounds by eating more protein, tracking meals Business Insider 10 Best High-Fiber Cereals for Weight Loss, According to Dietitians Eat This, Not That 1000-Lb Sisters' Tammy Slaton Introduces New Family Member Amid Weight Loss Transformation Screen Rant Ozempic babies: Women claim weight-loss drugs are making them more fertile and experts agree Fox News GLP-1 agonist drugs like Ozempic do not increase thyroid cancer risk Medical News Today Amid weight loss drug craze, bariatric surgery remains safe, proven method Seacoastonline.com Can Oats Help You Lose Weight? Experts Weigh in On ‘Oatzempic’ Trend The New York Times |
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