|Stress Management Information|
Top 10 Tips on Managing Conflict, Emotional Tension, and Anger
To be a safe and predictable person for those around you at work and at home, it is essential that you are able to maintain your composure when you feel like your 'buttons' are being pushed. This strength will help you to achieve your goals in business as well as your goals for your personal relationships.
1. Share negative emotions only in person or on the phone. E-mails, answering machine messages, and notes are too impersonal for the delicate nature of negative words. What feels like a bomb on paper may feel like a feather when delivered in person.
2. Pepper your responses with the phrase, "I understand". This phrase will support your goals when the tension is high and you need to find common ground to form compromises or agreements with the other party.
3. Take notice when you feel threatened by what someone is saying to you. Resist the temptation to defend yourself or to "shut down" the other person's communication. It will take this kind of discipline to become an open, trusting communicator.
4. Practice making requests of others when you are angry. It is often much more useful to make a request than to share your anger. For example, if the babysitter is driving you crazy by leaving dirty dishes in the sink, it is better to make a request of them than to let your anger leak out in other ways such as by becoming more distant.
5. Try repeating the exact words that someone is saying to you when they are in a lot of emotional pain or when you disagree with them completely. This mirroring technique can keep both the speaker and the listener 'centered' in a difficult conversation, especially when the attitude of the person doing the mirroring is to gain understanding of a different point of view.
6. Take responsibility for your feelings to avoid blaming others. Notice when 'blameshifting' begins to leak into your speech. "I feel angry when you are twenty minutes late and you don't call me" is much better than, "You make me so mad by being late."
7. Learn to listen to the two sides of the conflict that you are in as if you were the mediator or the counselor. If you can listen and respond in this way you will bring peace and solutions to the conflict more quickly. For example, in response to an employee's raise request, you might say, "On the one hand I understand that you really need the raise, and on the other hand I represent the company, whose funds are very scarce at this time. Is there a way that I can work on your compensation package that does not involve cash?" Here, the mediator's point of view can look for the creative compromise that takes into account the limits and the needs of both parties.
8. Take a playful attitude towards developing the skill of emotional self-control in high conflict situations. You could view maintaining self-control in a tense, angry converstion as an athletic feat. You could also view developing this skill as similar to working out at the gym with weights - the more that you use your self-control muscle the bigger it will grow and the easier it will be to remain calm when tension is great.
9. Wait a few days to cool down emotionally when a situation makes you feel wild with intense feelings, such as rage. As time passes, you will be able to be more objective about the issues and to sort out the truth about the situation more clearly.
10. Make a decision to speak with decorum whenever you are angry or frustrated. If you give yourself permission to blow up, people will not feel safe around you. They will feel that you are not predictable and will carry 'shields' when they are near you. The fear and walls of others will not support your goals for success in relationships or at work.
About The Author
This piece was written by Dr. Clare Albright, Clinical Psychologist and Professional Coach. These 10 Tips are from, "85 Secrets for Improving Your Communication Skills" by Dr. Clare Albright, which can be downloaded for only $5.77 via http://www.ImprovingYourCommunicationSkills.com.
Is Your Workplace Suffering from Contagious Stress?
We wonder how many of you might recognise this scenario? Although it happened with a male manager, it could apply to men or women. The manager we worked with had been promoted to a more senior role and was experiencing demands from all sides. He became increasingly tired, was working long hours and spending less time with his family. His overall energy dropped, anxiety levels increased, sleep was disrupted and concentration and focus diminished. He no longer took time to exercise, found himself snatching meals of dubious quality and kept himself going with constant fixes of coffee and Red Bull. Apart from the impact on him ? what do you think were the effects on his family and the people who worked for and with him?
Stress. The word brings to mind many different definitions doesn't it? It is an individual thing in many ways ? although the Canadian Stress Institute's founder, Dr. Hans Selye was the first one to define the condition. He is known as the Father of Stress. Let's say you are walking through the park. All of a sudden, out of the bush at the side of the path, a black bear appears. Fear surges through every cell of your body. Your mind and body are stressed, and together they will prepare physiologically and psychologically for the "fight or flight" stress response. The heart pumps faster and blood surges through the blood vessels, lactic acid is released into the muscles, adrenalin and other chemicals are released, breathing becomes shallow, and the bowels loosen.
12 Proven Ways To Relieve Stress Today!
Do you feel that you just don't have the time to properly de-stress each day? The good news is you can incorporate simple stress busting routines into all that you do!
How To Eliminate Or Manage Stress
Are you a "worry wart?" Is that term familiar to you? It is to me but it's been a long time since I've heard it used. I do remember people telling me years ago when something was really bothering me and they would say, "Oh! you are a just a real "worry wart".
Recognize the Early Signs of Burnout
Most of us are trying to balance work, home, and a family life. We tend not to accept the early symptoms of burnout and carry on our daily lives. In my opinion, living your life isn't supposed to be that way. If you ignore the red flags, you'll become gravely ill and your life could come to a complete halt.
5 Stepst to Stress-Guard Your Family
Part 1: Recognize the importance of family stress management
Getting Rid of Your Frustrations
Punch a pillow
Stress Management: Declare Your Freedom From...
Stress Management: Are You a Chooser or a Loser?
Author and speaker H. Stephen Glenn has said,
Stress Busting Strategies
Learn to have healthy relationships:
The Epidemic of the Eighties is Still Here
Everything You Always Wanted to Know About How to Get a Life, But Didnt Know Whom to Ask
Stress Relief for Busy Business People - 11 Easy Ways
Make stress less of an issue for you in your work and life, by trying out one or more of these ideas - the list is not exhaustive! Seek out more and share!
Stress Management: Workaholism is a Thief
Let's take a look at some of the more serious signs and effects of workaholism.
100 Ways to Reduce Stress
Don't let stress wear you down. Next time you are feeling stressed, step back from the situation and try one of the following tips to take control of the situation and de-stress:
Journal Your Stress Away
Writing down our thoughts and feelings, as in keeping a journal or diary, is a proven method to relieve stress and improve well being. The expression achieved through writing in a journal on a regular basis, or during times of high stress, helps to clarify and focus what we are actually feeling and experiencing. Putting down on paper what we are frustrated about, worried and concerned with, helps us to begin to understand in a clearer, more concise manner, what we are going through. That understanding can help us to realize what actions we can then take to work through the stress.
Manage Stress By Focusing On Solutions And By Having A Laugh
Marshal John Kruger acted by Arnold Schwarzenegger (who else) in the film "Eraser" protects a female employee in the defence industry who has exposed corruption and treason to the FBI.
Stress Managment and Mastery: Progress vs. Perfection
David Bowie once sang, "Ch-ch-changes, tryin' to face the strain."
How Stressed-Out Are YOU?
Are you feeling stressed out? Too many things to do, too little time? One more thing added to the To-Do list and you feel like you'll explode?
Alleviate Stress Without Pills!
We all have it; we live with it daily: stress. As America's #1 health problem, surveys, reports and studies have been done concerning this epidemic. Meditation, massages and reading are some of the many ways for you to alleviate stress levels. Doctors hand out pills; insurance rates go up; you pay to learn meditation, to talk to a therapist or for a massage therapist to give you a massage. Day after day, week after week . . . this is a never-ending cycle. The fact is you need to, and can, control your stress simply and cost effectively.
|home | site map|